Title : I Lived It: Delta Airlines Banned My Emotional Support Giraffe
link : I Lived It: Delta Airlines Banned My Emotional Support Giraffe
I Lived It: Delta Airlines Banned My Emotional Support Giraffe
The third most read article in the Anchorage Daily News this morning is a reprint from the Washington Post titled “Fire and Fury at 40,000 feet as more people bring animals on planes.”I don’t really want to engage in a debate over whether animals should or shouldn’t be allowed in the passenger cabin of commercial jetliners. I realize this is a controversial topic and everyone's an expert these days! As far as I’m concerned, 747s can and should look exactly like a bus in the Andes mountains, rammed to the rafters full of goats, ducks, chickens, sheep, and other livestock braying, shitting, shedding, and kicking in the aisles.
I only want to take a moment to share the story of the terrible treatment I received from Delta Airlines, which banned my emotional support giraffe on a 45 minute flight from Charlotte to Baltimore last year.
Geri is a 15 year-old neutered male ungulate from Chad who has been my constant companion for two years, ever since I was diagnosed with a rare psychological condition called gerisinephobia. Gerisinephobia's primary symptom is deep fear of being without a giraffe at all times, coupled with a total lack of self-awareness and ability to function i public.
Armed with an online certificate electronically signed by Brant Branterson, Executive Director of the International Institute for Gerisinephobia Studies in Kalamazoo, MI, Geri and I arrived at Gate 24 for early boarding.
I’m accustomed to curious looks from passengers, but I’ve never been treated more rudely by an airline than I was that day!
The gate agent immediately questioned the necessity and practicality of bringing Geri on the flight, and asked me if I realized that the height of an airplane cabin is less than 8 feet and pointed out that Geri is at least twice that tall.
The gate agent immediately questioned the necessity and practicality of bringing Geri on the flight, and asked me if I realized that the height of an airplane cabin is less than 8 feet and pointed out that Geri is at least twice that tall.
I responded that I was perfectly aware of that fact, and that—OBVIOUSLY—Geri is trained to curl her neck downward during flight. Reluctantly, Geri and I were permitted to board early, and were seated next to a lap infant, which is my biggest pet peeve on airplanes!
Geri was simply being friendly when she licked the sleeping baby’s face with her gigantic rough, blue, 20-inch tongue. And she wouldn’t have devoured that cheese platter if the infant’s parents had been better able to control their child. Furthermore, the fact that Geri's hoof went through the window and sucked the mother's diaper bag out into the sky was simply Geri being skittish at a perceived threat to her territory and an unfamiliar smell.
I realize there are blind people who actually need guide dogs, and Geri and I might not fit YOUR idea of what an emotional support animal should look like. But if I have to put up with your screaming baby and his tiny mallet feet kicking my tray table, you can handle my fourteen-foot emotional support giraffe busting through an airplane window at 40,000 feet.
After this terrible experience, I demanded that Delta Airlines give me 20,000 miles and sued them for intentional infliction of emotional distress. The lawsuit is pending, but I am pleased to report that they did give me the miles.
Geri was simply being friendly when she licked the sleeping baby’s face with her gigantic rough, blue, 20-inch tongue. And she wouldn’t have devoured that cheese platter if the infant’s parents had been better able to control their child. Furthermore, the fact that Geri's hoof went through the window and sucked the mother's diaper bag out into the sky was simply Geri being skittish at a perceived threat to her territory and an unfamiliar smell.
I realize there are blind people who actually need guide dogs, and Geri and I might not fit YOUR idea of what an emotional support animal should look like. But if I have to put up with your screaming baby and his tiny mallet feet kicking my tray table, you can handle my fourteen-foot emotional support giraffe busting through an airplane window at 40,000 feet.
After this terrible experience, I demanded that Delta Airlines give me 20,000 miles and sued them for intentional infliction of emotional distress. The lawsuit is pending, but I am pleased to report that they did give me the miles.
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