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Title : I Have the Exclusive on the Anchorage Cow Moose Cat Fight
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I Have the Exclusive on the Anchorage Cow Moose Cat Fight

KTUU might have caught it on camera, but only O.H.M. has the sources and access to get the real scoop behind the “disagreement in Eagle River” that “turned into a confrontation in the street” between two cow moose with their four respective calves nearby.

The two moms went “hoof to hoof” this week in the Anchorage subburb. That much is clear. But the question of “why” remains. 

Alaska Department of Fish & Game biologists have speculated that the argument arose due to competition over vegetation and territory in the woods abutting a local subdivision; but that, my ungulate-loving friends, turns out to be FAKE NEWS.

In fact, the two females—whom ADF&G identified in a previous aerial survey and collared as individuals A/986 and A/765—are notorious scrappers who have literally locked horns in a long-standing feud over limited spots on the Chugach Mountain Moose Calf Dance & Cheer Team.

In an exclusive interview, O.H.M. confirmed that individual A/986 was enraged because her calf had been passed over for a prime spot in the lineup for the big upcoming mate-fight between two prominent bulls in rut. 

Meanwhile, individual A/765 was insisting that HER calf had had a better tryout, and A/986 retorted that she was trying to buy off the judges with gifts of mud cakes and that her calf’s outfit was slutty and tacky AF.

It was this last slight over the calf’s outfit that triggered the row and led the two cows to hooficuffs. Eventually, the calves, humiliated by their mothers’ infantile behavior, managed to corral their mothers back into the woods.

The coach of the Chugach Mountain Moose Calf Dance & Cheer Team could not be reached for comment, but the organization released this statement:

“We have been made aware of a physical confrontation between two of our Team Moms. CMMCDCT does not condone violence of any kind, and our selection process for team and competition placement is transparent and fair. We look forward to a great performance at next week’s bull fight.”

A Sitka black-tailed deer, individual D/545, contributed reporting to this article.

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